Suggested Guidelines for Parents - from the ES Manual
The elementary school years are a critical time for students to develop their courage, responsibility and character. The home environment is where parents teach and encourage family values and routines. An effective foundation built in elementary school can serve to guide and protect students when they reach middle school age - a time of increasing autonomy and expanding choices for healthy and risky behaviors. We know that parenting well during these stages is extremely important and extremely difficult. Below are some guidelines for consideration as parents build this important foundation in the elementary years.
Family Meetings/Talks
Family talks are a great way to set a tone of mutual respect and shared communication in your household. They show children that their input is important. Starting when children are young can ensure that they feel comfortable talking about things, as they grow. Start by setting some basic ground rules, for example, keeping it short, and choosing a simple topic like planning a family activity or outing. Then progress to topics like solving a problem, preventing a problem, discussing character traits (honesty, respect), or sharing family beliefs.
Clear, Enforceable Limits
Every child needs a balance between freedom and limits. Setting limits and rules teaches students to be held accountable for their choices and encourages responsibility. Start with a polite request, then an “I” statement, then a firm instruction, and then, if they still don’t comply, logical consequences. One strategy is to structure conversations to have a when/then choice to make. For example, “when you have cleaned up the mess you made, then you can get out a new game.”
Choices and Expanding Freedoms
Children should be given plenty of age-appropriate choices and decisions to make. This freedom should be ever expanding as children mature and can handle more responsibility. When offering choices, only offer the ones that you are happy to support. For example, you might ask a 4-year old, would you like to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt?
Encouraging Positive Influences
Teach your children to make responsible choices by doing the right thing even when no one is looking. The following are suggested areas to monitor and set limits, while also teaching how to safely navigate and make wise choices:
Elementary School Counselor
American School of Bombay
Family Meetings/Talks
Family talks are a great way to set a tone of mutual respect and shared communication in your household. They show children that their input is important. Starting when children are young can ensure that they feel comfortable talking about things, as they grow. Start by setting some basic ground rules, for example, keeping it short, and choosing a simple topic like planning a family activity or outing. Then progress to topics like solving a problem, preventing a problem, discussing character traits (honesty, respect), or sharing family beliefs.
Clear, Enforceable Limits
Every child needs a balance between freedom and limits. Setting limits and rules teaches students to be held accountable for their choices and encourages responsibility. Start with a polite request, then an “I” statement, then a firm instruction, and then, if they still don’t comply, logical consequences. One strategy is to structure conversations to have a when/then choice to make. For example, “when you have cleaned up the mess you made, then you can get out a new game.”
Choices and Expanding Freedoms
Children should be given plenty of age-appropriate choices and decisions to make. This freedom should be ever expanding as children mature and can handle more responsibility. When offering choices, only offer the ones that you are happy to support. For example, you might ask a 4-year old, would you like to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt?
Encouraging Positive Influences
Teach your children to make responsible choices by doing the right thing even when no one is looking. The following are suggested areas to monitor and set limits, while also teaching how to safely navigate and make wise choices:
- Internet/Video games
- Friends/Relatives/Social Events
- Media/Books/News
- Physical Safety - climbing, playing outside, riding bikes, etc.
Elementary School Counselor
American School of Bombay