Understanding Gender identity and expression
At ASB we strive to accept and celebrate diversity so that all students may embrace their unique individuality. Gender diversity is no exception. We respect the right of all students to explore and express their gender identity based on their personal sense of who they are and how they wish to express their gender.
Children's gender identity is a complex intermix of their experience of the physical body, their psychological sense of who they are, and their conformity or non-conformity with societal norms of gender expression. Throughout history, societies have defined gender using ever-changing cultural definitions of what it means to be male or female, and throughout history there have been individuals whose sense of self and gender expression do not conform to pervasive societal norms.
The gender affirmative model is an approach to supporting students that is widely espoused by psychological experts and professional organizations (see links below). To better understand the gender affirmative model, we must explore the physical, psychological and societal aspects that inform gender identity:
Physical
At birth we assign a newborn's sex as either male or female based on physical attributes. For most people, this "binary" (two rigidly-fixed options) model of gender, is obvious and not given much further thought. But nature shows us there is greater variation than this simple model - some people are born with naturally occurring variations in genitalia that do not conform to strictly male or female.
Psychological
The psychological aspect of gender is the sense of self that is largely understood through our brain – it is our internal experience and naming of our gender. Most children have a stable sense of their gender identity by the age of three or four. For many this identity matches their birth gender, but for some children this identity is fluid, non-binary, or the opposite of their birth gender. Experts today recognize gender identity as a spectrum that doesn’t always conform to the binary. They also acknowledge that individuals do not choose their gender identity, nor can they be made to change it. Gender identity is an inherent aspect of who they are inside.
Societal Expression
The third dimension of gender is expression. Gender expression is how individuals choose to express their gender to the world. This includes preferences in clothing, hairstyles, toys, activities, etc. Society has assigned specific colors, styles, and activities to boys and girls. Even the colors pink and blue were historically associated with the opposite genders than they are currently - only switching to pink for girls and blue for boys during the twentieth century!
It’s important to realize that gender identity and gender expression do not always match. A boy who identifies as a boy may choose to wear dresses and long hair, while a girl who identifies as a girl may choose short hair and boy-style clothing. It’s also important to realize that gender identity and gender expression are different than sexual orientation – the way a child identifies or chooses to express themselves does not determine who they will later become attracted to sexually. Gender identity and sexual orientation are two distinct, separate parts of ourselves.
The most important ways of supporting children in discovering and defining their unique gender identity are family and school support. Children who are allowed to express their identity, without being stigmatized or repressed, grow into healthy, functional adults, regardless of the identity they ultimately develop. For more support, please see the articles below, or feel free to contact me for referral to experts in gender identity.
Cindy Cleary
Elementary School Counselor
American School of Bombay
For more information please visit these sites:
The Human Rights Campaign: Resources on Gender Expansive Children and Youth
Schools In Transition: A guide for supporting transgender students in K-12 schools
The Gender Spectrum: Parenting and Family Guide
Harvard Ed Magazine: Goodwill Not Enough: Are educator’s getting the training they need to to better understand and support transgender students?
Children’s National Health System: Gender and Sexuality Development Program, Wash. DC
Child and Adolescent Gender Center: UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital, San Francisco
American Psychological Association - Promoting Resiliency for Gender Diverse Students and Sexual Minority Students in Schools
National Association of School Psychologists - Gender Inclusive Schools section
Diane Ehrensaft, Ph.D, developmental and clinical psychologist - author of the Gender Creative Child: Pathways for Nurturing and Supporting Children Who Live Outside Gender Boxes